My Little Pumpkin

(Sorry - the picture got corrupted when I uploaded it...)

Each year, we go to the pumpkin patch with our kids, their cousins, and their grandparents to pick out their pumpkins. This happens very closely to Rachel's birthday - we went 3 or 4 days after she was born (Brenda was a real trooper that year).

I really like this picture - she looks so cute sitting in the cart with all the pumpkins. I miss her so much!

We Can All Be Brave Like Becca

Observation Point in Zion's Canyon. We love to go hiking with our family. This particular hike is probably the hardest hike we have ever been on. It is 8 miles round-trip, and has a 2100-foot elevation change. I carried Rachel in a backpack - and Becca hiked by herself.

I have always like hiking with our children, because I had the opportunity to carry the youngest in the backpack. It always made me feel so important, and it gave me a bonding time with the littlest one. I loved carying Rachel probably more than the others, because she would fall asleep on my back (the others wouldn't). She would also babble and talk almost the entire time. I loved feeling like I could take care of my little girl.

Becca was SOOOOO brave! She kept saying that she was tired, and she was on the verge of tears a couple of times, but we just kept telling her how brave she was. After that hike, I was so very proud of her. It was a hard hike for us as adults, I could only imagine how difficult it was for her tiny legs. We told her she could get a prize at the visitor's center for being so brave - I was prepared to get her anything she wanted - but after a lot of deliberation on her part, she chose a post card with a deer on it...because "I saw a lot of deer on this trip."

She was the first one done on this hike, and so proud of herself. She was also the first one done on her journey in this life.

Now it's their turn to help us on this hike we are on. Rachel is there taking care of us. Becca is cheering us on. It's hard, we're tired, and we've been beyond the verge of tears MANY times. However, we know that they are there, telling us that we can make it, we are so brave. Hopefully, we will be able to make them as proud of us as we are of them.

Rachel's Blanket

Rachel got this blanket for her 1st birthday. It immediately became her favorite. Along with this blanket, her "Bo Bo" (baby) she got became an instant hit as well. She was so excited about her gifts that she would sit there and shake as we tried to get them out of the packages.

Probably the funniest part of the day was while she was eating her cake. She is the only one of our children who did not cry when we sat them in front of their cake and let them dig in. She probably ate the equivalent of 2 pieces before we had to pull her away...then she ate another piece in her high chair.

It was a good day. She was such a happy girl! I'm glad that she was mine (though it was just a short while).

School

Becca was always excited for school. She always used to say that she couldn't wait until she was 5 so she could go to Kindergarten. Little did she know that she wouldn't go to Kindergarten until she was almost 6.

This picture was taken on the first day of school for Cassidy and Braden - she wanted her picture taken as well wearing her "school clothes".

Although she never got to go to Kindergarten, she loved her joy school, and her joy school friends. She knew exactly which days were "school days" for her, she would put her stuff by the door (just like the big kids), and sit on the couch waiting for her ride to come and take her.

She loved to learn! I see so much of myself in her. I miss her and love her so much!

Tribute Photo

This is the photo mentioned in the Tribute to Rebecca and Rachel Toone on February 13, 2010, by their grandfather Doug Belliston.

"Becca loved her little sister Rachel so much! Perhaps this began with Rachel's birth. A favorite picture of mine was included with the DVD that some may have seen. It is a sweet picture of then two-year old Rebecca sitting on the small couch in the hospital room with her arms outstretched and eyes focused upward, to receive and hold her baby sister Rachel just moments after her birth. This picture has been in my thoughts since Rachel's death. While we do not know, we draw comfort from the thought that Rebecca again held out her arms to receive her little sister last Tuesday."

Daddy's Little Girls

Daddy's little girls. This was taken the day Rachel was born. I was sick (hence the face mask). They were SOOOO beautiful and wonderful! I love them SO SO SO SO SO much!

1 Month...

Today is 1 month since Rachel passed away. We have been through quite a lot, and due to media attention, we made our blog private for a while, and haven't been posting since we've been back.

For those who may not know, on February 6, 2010, Rebecca passed away at Davis Hospital. Three days later, on February 9, 2010, Rachel also passed away at Primary Children's Medical Center. The next few days were a blur for us - there were many good things that happened, and the longest week of our lives culminated in me needing to do a press conference leading up to the day of the funeral.

Throughout all of these experiences, we have been absolutely amazed at the help and outpouring of love and support from friends, family, and total strangers. We are grateful to everyone for your love and prayers, and we have definitely been feeling it as we have begun this healing process.

I, personally, have found it therapeutic to post some pictures and memories of our two girls on Facebook. However, not all our family and friends have access to those photos, so I thought I would cross-post them on our family blog. Since we are still a bit concerned about media attention, we do not have comments enabled on our blog at this time, but if you would like to leave a comment for us, feel free to do it on the Facebook photo album. I'm sorry to those of you who have already seen these pictures - but I will keep posting new ones each day for the next little while.

Again, thank you all for your support, love, and prayers! We love you all! And we LOVE our girls!

Rebecca's Obituary
Rachel's Obituary