Kak! Kak!

Rachel LOVED ducks!

It was the first animal that she learned the sound it made. "Kak Kak". She would always pull the rubber ducks from the bath toys, look for ducks in books, and play with her Grandma Belliston's rubber duck nativity set.

Ducks have come to symbolize Rachel for me now. We have received a few gifts from caring friends and neighbors that are ducks. I now LOVE ducks!

Oddly enough, most ducks (rubber ducks, at least) are yellow - which has come to symbolize Becca for me. So - it might be grounds for me to be kicked out of the "manly man club" - but I love yellow ducks!

I love my girls - I miss them so much. I love my family and my other children too. At some point in the near future, I may start posting pictures and memories of Cassidy and Braden as well.

Rachel's Personality

In keeping with the theme of the past few photos, here is another picture from last summer's family reunion to Island Park.

Rachel always had such a wonderful personality. She was able to draw people in immediately. Here she is playing with Brenda's Uncle Jim at the cabin we stayed at.

This picture is hanging in Rachel's room - and has been since the sumer when it was taken. I really like it, it shows the connection that she was able to make with people, and the influence that she had (and continues to have) on people's lives.

Tubing with Kellie

This is a picture of Becca tubing with Brenda's cousin Kellie. This also was while we were at Island Park last summer.

Rebecca really liked to swim. She always had fun in the water, and always wanted to do things with the "big" kids. I miss letting her do things with Cassidy and Braden.

Reading with Grandma Shirley

This is Becca reading a story with her Great-Grandmother "Grandma Shirley" and Braden. This was taken last summer at our family reunion in Island Park.

Becca *ALWAYS* had a real interest in reading. She loved to read books, and taught herself to read - even though she was a long way from Kindergarten. Before she died, she and Brenda started reading "Frog and Toad All Year" - which is listed as a 2.4 grade level equivalent. She wouldn't read all the pages...the two of them would trade off pages.

She never got to finish that book. We put it in the coffin with her - and Brenda and Becca are going to finish it later together.

Becca missed the cut-off for school by just a couple of weeks - so she was still a year and a half away from going to Kindergarten. She was SO excited to go.

Rachel also loved reading - and one of the favorite things that I would do with her (and Becca) was to sit on the couch after dinner and have them bring me books to read to them. Neither one of them really had a "favorite" book - they would keep bringing different ones.

I miss having a little girl sit on my lap for me to read them a story. I'm glad for friends and family members that will lend me their daughters occasionally to read to them. (Thanks Jenny!)

I'm a bit sad today to think about what could have been accomplished by such a bright and intelligent little girl. Sometimes it doesn't seem fair that someone so smart would have to leave so early. However, I know that knowledge is one of the few things that we get to take with us into the next life - along with our family - and that we will never stop increasing in knowledge. I'm proud of my girls - I love them so much - and I can't WAIT to be with them again and help to teach them.

Hopefully, I'll be able to teach them at least *half* as much as they have taught me this past month.

Nice Photo

I kind of like this photo. Apparently, it was one of the local paper's photo of the week

It was really interesting to see the different media outlets run different photos. Some of them (like the Tribune) really seemed to be trying hard to find pictures where we looked sad. I like this one in the Deseret News because I think we look pensive, grieving even, without looking overly distraught and upset.

I really miss our girls! We love them so much! I can't wait to be able to see their smiling faces again!

Kings and Queens

This is the last picture we took of all our kids - just a week or so before the girls died.

Cassidy, Braden, and Rebecca all decided that they wanted to play "King and Queen" so they all dressed up. They even dressed up Rachel. She thought she was so cute! We thought so too - and couldn't help but take pictures of them.

The bead necklaces that the girls are all wearing were Rachel's favorite. They were just cheap necklaces that we got from a work party last Christmas. She would put them on and wear them all around the house. "CUUUUUUTE" was all she would say. That was her way of letting us know that she was being silly, I think. Last night, we found one of them hidden away in a closet - so Brenda wore it in her memory.

Here they are sitting on their throne. I miss my family. It is hard to have half of them gone from me for the remainder of this life. I know, however, that we will be able to be reunited again and continue to raise those sweet little girls. I can't wait to hold, snuggle, hug, and kiss their sweet faces again!

I also love Braden and Cassidy, and I am so very grateful that I get to spend the remainder of my life here with them. They were, and still are, excellent older siblings. I know that they were sent to us first for the purpose of them helping us all through this experience.

"Beach Day" - Random Outing 2

Another out-of-the-blue "random" trip we made was to the Great Salt Lake. We went to Antelope Island last June, and took the kids to see the buffalo, tour the farm, visitors center, and walk in the lake.

We took a picnic lunch - and the kids kept throwing their food at the seagulls.

Becca's favorite part was walking in the lake - we had to walk across the sandbar for quite a ways - and she kept calling it "Beach Day".

"Dad - remember when we had Beach Day? That was a lot of fun. We need to do Beach Day again!" she would say.

I loved this picture of Rachel (even though she has a dirty face). She looks so pensive, and calm. She was a wonderful baby and daughter. I love her so much!

I would *LOVE* for the opportunity to do Beach Day with Becca and Rachel again. It never got warm enough - so we never were able to. We'll probably try to go with Cassidy and Braden again this year some time...hopefully the memories we've made there will serve to make us happy when we return, rather than sad.