Golden Spike - Random Outing 1

One saturday a few years back, we woke up and decided out of the blue to go to the Golden Spike monument. It was a lot of fun - especially for just a random "mini-vacation".

I really like this picture of Rebecca and I walking on the railroad tracks by the golden spike.

I'm glad that we did things like this with the girls before they died. It gives us fond memories to look back on. I really miss those days.

Halloween Witch

This last Halloween, Rachel was a witch. This costume actually was my sister Lindsay's costume when she was 1 year old. Cassidy and Becca also got their turns to be witches in this costume as well. So - even though Lindsay didn't have any sisters, the costume was well-used.

The funny thing about this was the hat. Rachel was the only one of our kids who would keep it on. When we first put it on, she said "CUUUUUTE!" and it stayed there the rest of the day.

She really liked to be cute and she really was a cute girl! Although she didn't particularly like to have her hair done, she liked it when it *was* done, and would say "CUUUUUTE!"

I miss hearing her say that. But I will always remember her little voice, and her cute face and smile! I love you Rachel!

Missing Out

One way that is interesting to me is the way that Cassidy and Braden are mourning. They keep feeling sad about things that the girls will miss out on. For example, they keep asking if Becca and Rachel ever got a chance to go to Disneyland, or to the zoo, or to do other things.

Yes - Becca got to go to Disneyland. And technically Rachel did too - Brenda was pregnant at this time.

I really love this picture. Becca looks so in awe at being able to talk with Snow White. I am so glad that she got to meet her. Becca had some dress-up dresses that she loved to do with friends...and although she said that her favorite princess was always Cinderella, she always seemed to pick the Snow White dress-up to use when she got to choose. I think it was probably the yellow dress that she liked.

Today, I was feeling a bit sad because of things that I didn't get to do with the girls. One thing in particular that I remember doing as a kid that I loved doing was having a nap with my dad in his bed on weekends. I have been able to do that with all my kids - except for Rachel...she was not old enough to enjoy something like that.

I think I might go take a nap in her room this weekend. :)

Thumbsucking (or... "How to tell Becca and Rachel Apart")

I like this picture for a lot of reasons. First, Brenda is smoking hot...so much so, you can see the steam :) Second, it shows how much Rebecca and Rachel looked like each other (this is Rebecca in this picture). I also like this picture because it reminds me of how I would always take the baby (whoever was the baby at the time) on vacations...I would be the one to hold, carry, and take care of them.

But the reason I chose this picture today is because it shows Becca sucking her thumb. She was our only thumb-sucker, and she did it all the time. In pictures where they look alike, you can tell it's Becca if she is sucking her thumb. When she turned 4, she started trying really hard to overcome that habit - and little by little, she did. Just a couple of months ago, Brenda and I were talking and we decided that Becca had finally stopped completely. We were SOOOOOO proud of her for overcoming something so difficult for her.

I hope that we can make her proud by overcoming something that is so difficult for us. Becca, I love you!

Christmas Eve, 2009

Every year, we do a "Bethlehem Supper" on Christmas Eve. We spread out a blanket in the family room, and eat "food that the shepherds would have eaten". Generally, we eat beef jerky, gouda cheese, pita bread, and dried fruit - and we drink grape juice (white...not purple...we're in the family room, remember). OK, so it's probably not *exactly* like the shepherds - but it gets us thinking about the night of the birth of Jesus Christ.

We also watch a video of the nativity - and afterwards, we talk about the birth of the Savior.

I just ran across this picture yesterday - I hadn't seen it before (that I remember). I love how it has all my kids, and they are all happy. I love all my kids. That's one thing that I need to try and express during this sorrowful time - that I love the two girls that have passed on...but I love Braden and Cassidy just as much!

We had always planned on reading from Luke chapter 2 once our kids got older (the video was an attempt to get their attention while they were young). However, I think that I want to keep watching the video for Becca and Rachel.

My Little Pumpkin

(Sorry - the picture got corrupted when I uploaded it...)

Each year, we go to the pumpkin patch with our kids, their cousins, and their grandparents to pick out their pumpkins. This happens very closely to Rachel's birthday - we went 3 or 4 days after she was born (Brenda was a real trooper that year).

I really like this picture - she looks so cute sitting in the cart with all the pumpkins. I miss her so much!

We Can All Be Brave Like Becca

Observation Point in Zion's Canyon. We love to go hiking with our family. This particular hike is probably the hardest hike we have ever been on. It is 8 miles round-trip, and has a 2100-foot elevation change. I carried Rachel in a backpack - and Becca hiked by herself.

I have always like hiking with our children, because I had the opportunity to carry the youngest in the backpack. It always made me feel so important, and it gave me a bonding time with the littlest one. I loved carying Rachel probably more than the others, because she would fall asleep on my back (the others wouldn't). She would also babble and talk almost the entire time. I loved feeling like I could take care of my little girl.

Becca was SOOOOO brave! She kept saying that she was tired, and she was on the verge of tears a couple of times, but we just kept telling her how brave she was. After that hike, I was so very proud of her. It was a hard hike for us as adults, I could only imagine how difficult it was for her tiny legs. We told her she could get a prize at the visitor's center for being so brave - I was prepared to get her anything she wanted - but after a lot of deliberation on her part, she chose a post card with a deer on it...because "I saw a lot of deer on this trip."

She was the first one done on this hike, and so proud of herself. She was also the first one done on her journey in this life.

Now it's their turn to help us on this hike we are on. Rachel is there taking care of us. Becca is cheering us on. It's hard, we're tired, and we've been beyond the verge of tears MANY times. However, we know that they are there, telling us that we can make it, we are so brave. Hopefully, we will be able to make them as proud of us as we are of them.